I'm not at home. I'm done just riding each swell of the wave everyday. Sink or swim, I'm jumping into the water to make my own way in this life, regardless of what the people still on the boat say I should do. There are mixed feelings. On the one hand, people are hurt and I no longer feel like I have a home. No, I've had a house for a long time, but it hasn't felt like home in a long while. Because it isn't my home. It is the home of my father, and I am not my father. My father's rules are not my rules, my father's life is not my life. I am myself, my own person, a man in my own right. I'm not scared. A little nervous lately, but as I step out into the cold grey world, I come to find I am not alone, to be left twisting as a leaf in the wind. No, friends emerge from the mists to my aid, comforting me and offering me support: in multiple ways. Some offer words of encouragement. Others offer minor financial assistance. Still others have opened their homes to me. Now, in this time of having no place to call home, finally... It feels like home. Maybe home isn't so much as a place, so much as a state of being. :) I am at peace.

I feel severely sleep deprived. I think I might actually spend time leveling my Death Knight today. Why? Well, I love my Rogue, but really only in PvP. My Paladin is good, but Brian is a Paladin and I don't like to be two of the same. Hence why I tire of my Warrior as well. But I want to Tank in PvE. So that leaves me with Druid and Death Knight. I hate druid, so... Logic Wins.

Things are good today. I almost overslept, but things are good. I didn't have time to shave this morning, though. I did wash my hair, but didn't comb it before it dried, so it's very wild and untamed. I need a haircut. I got into some trouble the other day. I called someone a fag, and got a whole lecture about gay acceptance. I didn't mean gay, or even a gay slur. I thing most people don't when they say it. I think a fag, really, is just any individual who is a douche, a prick, a dick, a buttmuncher, a punk. A fag. A fag is the guy who cuts you off in traffic for no apparent or trivial reason. A fag is the guy at the buffet who knows you want the last chicken leg, and he takes it, despite already having four on his plate. A fag is someone way more powerful who repeatedly kills you on warcraft. A fag can be gay, just as much as a fag can be straight, bi, or whatever the hell. In fact, if you were to do a survey, most fags would be straight males, usually mid twenties to late thirties. They drive the oversized needlessly loud trucks. And they keep driving by the same spots. Just so you hear them. Fags.

I haven't written anything with substance in awhile. Partly because I'm working my butt off and I'm too tired to rant normally. I haven't been feeling well lately. I feel slow and heavy, often dizzy. My body aches, any my head randomly seems to flare up with pain. It's hazy. Like, hard to focus. Usually the haze comes just before I'm bombarded with severe drowsiness, or dizziness. I'm finding it difficult to keep my balance as well.

Downside to opening at 4 30 am, besides the obvious? No matter how ill you feel, no one is awake to call in to.

There Will Be Brawl

Nuff said. Vote for it in other categories too, while you're there.

Oh, hell, http://therewillbebrawl.com Go there. See the series. You'll be glad you did.

So many people claim to love me. Why do I feel so alone?