Feelings

I don't really know how I feel these days. On the one hand, I'm the happiest I've been in ages. On the other, I'm in a place where everything is very new and uncharted for me, and to be honest, it's a little bit overwhelming. Fear mingles with my happiness, creating a strange blend of feelings that I just don't know how to deal with, much less describe.

I don't want anyone to get hurt through all this, I want to do the right thing, so I'm trying to watch this feeling very carefully. I have a great thing going here, and I don't want to botch it up because the cowardly side of me fears the difficult road ahead and wants to bail. If every man gave up when things started to look a bit rough, the world would be in a very sorry state.

Just writing this down feels very therapeutic and I feel a bit better already. I wish things were a little bit more simple, but they're not, and they're not going to get any simpler while I'm on this road. So I guess I just have to crank up the ol' problem solver and muscle through the complexity - because often times, it's after the complex puzzles, not the simple ones, we find a truly beautiful picture - and a feeling of satisfaction.

That being said, I'm hungry and getting ready for work. I think we have waffles today. :)

No Waffles...

You know what sucks?

Vacuums? Kirby?

Waking up, craving waffles, and not having any. No waffles. None.

If that's your idea of sucks...

Shut up. Anyway, it's raining AGAIN today. Haven't seen the sun in almost a week. Vampires are going to start getting bold here soon, and we're going to have problems on our hands.

Hey, maybe the vampires will be friendly?

Yeah, and maybe Welfare will actually work as intended.

You, sir, are a jaded individual.

I'm more of a sapphire kinda guy. Anyway, about to work again (Just a 9-2 today). Job is going really well. I really like my boss and co-workers. I also really like the food.

Of course you do, fatty!

For a figment of my imagination, you really are an asshat, you know that?

YOU made me this way!

Touche'. So, do you know what Harry Potter and I have in common?

Nerdy Glasses? Social Ineptitude? Bad grades?

This:

Preperation

I have to be at work in 30 minutes, so I'll be leaving in about 10 to 15. Thought I'd say something on here before I scoot off to the grind.

Love. It's a popular topic, because everyone has some interest in it one way or another. People talk about it in both extremes: To outright doubting its true existence to falling in love every two seconds. I had a revelation last night regarding myself and this mystical four letter word.

I have never been in love. I have loved, and I do love, but I have never been IN love. I've lusted, and I've been caught up in the moment, but I have never found myself feeling like I could and would to anything for another person, that that person was my missing puzzle piece. Or however being in love feels. Butterflies? Whatever, haven't felt it...

I've said "I Love You" and meant it, because I have loved people, but I've never been IN love with people... does that make sense? It does to me.

Do I want to fall in love? Sure, why not. But I'm no longer in any rush to do so. I've seen some of my friends fall in love, and to be quite honest, it's utterly pathetic. Sure, sweet, endearing, even romantic: But oh so pathetic. And I'm not quite ready to set my dignity aside like that.

I want waffles.